Dateline:    the near future
Location:   your local national forest or BLM land
Situation:  trail has a locked gate across it with sign "CLOSED TO MOTOR VEHICLES"
Problem:   back-country land abuse rears its ugly head in the form of ignorant, uncaring, and/or outright stupid people!

I am angry. I won't even go into all the 4-wheel drive roads that Rachel and I have hiked on and the sickening things we saw--trees with deep cuts around their circumference from YAHOOS not using tree straps for winching; trash and empty bottles tossed everywhere; burn scars and errant fire rings to name a few.

How hard is it to buy and use a tree strap? Why do you have to hurt the trees? How hard is it to bring along a trash bag? Why can't you take your trash home and put it in your trash can? How hard is it to use an existing fire ring (or stove, for that matter)? Why can't you bring in fire wood from the store (not pallets) instead of ripping our trees apart?

Why do you have to ruin it for everybody?

I am so angry that my first thought was that YAHOOS ought to be forced to watch their own truck getting beaten to a pulp with a large hammer, until the truck is in pieces and can't be driven. Because that is what they are doing to our public lands and they don't care.

Television commercials add to YAHOOism by setting up the "splash and crash syndrome." Commercials peddle sensationalism in the form of racing, puddle-jumping, and mud-splashing SUV's. The young miscreant is so television-oriented that they see this as a way of life. By the time they put their disclaimer at the end of the commercial, if they even bother to do it, it's too late. The subconscious mind of the 4-wheel drive adventure machine owner or soon-to-be owner is already at work! But what they're really selling is trail closings. Do you

...go around the challenge instead of dealing directly with an obstacle on the road right-of-way, creating "ghost trails," "volunteer trails," and "braiding" (going around obstacles)?

...get bored with the easy track and look off the 4-wheel drive road to create your own tough obstacles?

...go faster than necessary on an innocent road?

...spin tires helplessly on hills and fragile wet meadow areas?

...wrap winch cables around a tree?

...not know map and compass and then get lost?

...rip trees, leave trash, roll over, crash?

Then you, too, are a YAHOO and you are the one who is ruining it for those of us who want to see the roads stay open and enjoy the untrampled wildlands! You are the one who is getting the trails closed.

To put it in a little more perspective, let's say your doctor says you need an operation or you could die. You have choices:

            1. Circumvent the operation and create a worse situation.

            2. Grit your teeth and have the surgery.

            3. Seek alternative options.

In that same vein, you come to a difficult section of a trail. You have choices here, too.

            1. Go around the obstacle and create a worse situation.

            2. Grit your teeth and accept the challenge.

            3. Turn around and find a different route.

The finesse of 4-wheeling is to keep all four tires on the ground and to keep them from spinning loose, either going up or down, especially on challenge sections. The common sense of 4-wheeling is to stay on the road, pack your trash out, and camp using Leave No Trace ethics. 

"Dear Mr. Burke -- I work for Alex Van Hemert at the Moab BLM. I am writing this to commend you for your most excellent article in the Zephyr regarding four wheel drive etiquette. I only wish that we could make this required reading for every machine operator who comes to Moab for recreation..." (K. Stevens, 3/00)

Top of Page